I started this off at the beginning, as Julie Andrews says it’s a very good place to start. It’s how all good comics start. But you know what’s usually the best part of any comic is the middle. It’s the guts, the creamy center, the piece that holds everything together. With no middle there would be no beginning or end. The beginning is often used as an introduction. It’s where we first meet those important characters. We don’t quite know all their details but we know they will play an important roll through out the story. The end is the conclusion. It’s where all the problems are resolved (usually). And it’s where we learn who survives to live another day and who’s days are numbered. But the middle is where all the good stuff is. Comics use the middle to really delve into the heart of what the writer/artist is trying to get across. In life it’s a similar formula. Yes there’s exceptions, like introductions to new characters at the end or a conflict being resolved a bit earlier somewhere in the middle. But it’s still the middle that holds all the good stuff. In the story of my life that couldn’t be truer.
In so many comic books the hero is faced with an impossible choice. Superman had to constantly chose between a world where he was born and a home he grew up on. Batman’s choice involved sacrificing his own happiness to protect a city he loved, that didn’t always love him back. Even Marvel had superheroes choosing between themselves and their county in one of their biggest story lines Civil War. So it’s only fitting since my life is intertwined with the comic world that I be faced with an impossible decision of my own. I had to choose between three amazing men all of whom loved me and wanted me as their future. My choice may have not seemed as important and earth shattering as some other superheroes had to go through but that didn’t make it any easier. And truth be told my decision would be earth shattering to those two guys I didn’t choose.
I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying first is the worst right. While Jason certainly wasn’t the worse the fact that he was the first to tell me he loved me did not work in his favor. That night when Jason and I finally put a label on our relationship I went to his apartment all in. I was fully ready to give him my heart. To look to the future and start to imagine him in it. All of that changed when he told me he loved me. I knew I didn’t love Jason, but I always thought I would get there. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized I never would. I should have told him right then and there it wouldn’t work. You can’t force yourself to love someone no matter how great they are. I took the cowards way out that night leaving. I gave Jason hope. Hope that even though I didn’t say I love you back, all I needed was some time to process and then I could. I destroyed his hope and it eats me up inside. Sadly I never got the chance to tell him I was sorry for that. When I finally mustered up the courage to break things off with Jason he wasn’t interested in anything I had to say. Jason was and always will be that fantasy guy. The guy who is so wrong he almost had to be right. In the end no matter how you slice it wrong is always wrong.
There’s a theory in the world of movies known as six degrees of Kevin Bacon. What that is is that in no more then 6 steps you can just about link back to Kevin Bacon no matter who the actor or what the movie. For example let’s start with Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman was in Australia (the movie not the country) with Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman was in Days of Thunder with Tom Cruise. And Tom Cruise was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon. What I’m trying to get at is that a lot of the times we are all just separated by a few people. For instance your friend just happens to be the cousin of the sister in law of your hair dresser. Or your ex boyfriend just happens to be a good friend of the next door neighbor you’ve never met. Both of these things could be possible. We all have those people that we are connected to in life. It’s just matter of when we learn about those connections. Sometimes we never do.
One heartbreak down, one more to go. This one however was long overdue. There was a point in my life that if you had asked me who my soulmate was, who I was going to wind up with in the end, I would have said Chris no hesitation. Even the months after the breakup that was still my standard reply. It always felt like I would never move past him. That even though my head was saying move on my heart would never let go. When the relationships after Chris didn’t work I assumed it was because of that. It might have seemed impossible and improbable but I always thought my story would end with Chris by my side. That night when Chris showed up at my door was the night I had dreamt about since we broke up. In my dream Chris would swipe me up in his strong arms, tell me he’d never let me go and kiss me with a passion I had never known. Just like my dream Chris held me in his arms, he told me he’d never let me go and he kissed me. The only difference from my dream to reality was I no longer wanted to be in those arms or hear those words or feel his lips on mine. I had finally moved on. It only took me getting what I thought I always wanted to realize that.
If you remember correctly there were three guys I had to choose from. So if you’re good at math, which we all know I’m not, you’ve realized that I choose Henry. How could I not? He’s the knight in shining armor that every princess hopes for. While most princesses wind up with the frog I was actually going to get the prince. This Lois Lane was finally getting her Superman.
The problem with fairy tales is they never show what happens after happily ever after. We get to see Ariel give up her tail for legs and go off and marry Eric. What we don’t see is the guilt Ariel has to live with for choosing a man over her family. And the worry she deals with each time Eric goes on another voyage, hoping he won’t save another beautiful mermaid and toss her back in the ocean. What about Jasmine? She finally finds love with someone who loves her for her and not her title. But she loves someone who could easily lie to get what he wants and has a genie at his disposel. A genie who could grant him whatever his heart desires, even if that heart desires someone who’s not Jasmine. Girls grow up with ideas of what love should be because of the fairy tales we’re told. We think love can survive anything. Sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes life just gets in the way. Henry and I had 4 great months before our fairy tale began to fade. It’s a tale that may sound familiar. Girl and guy fall in love, girl and guy are the happiest they’ve ever been, guy has to go away for work far away, girl must stay where she is. Unlike the previous story of mine there was no cheating. It was nothing that I did or nothing that he did. The thing that always seemed to be our issue was the same thing that broke us up, timing. Life wasn’t ready for us to be together and the truth is it may never be.
Don’t cry for me just yet. I may not have ended up with any of the guys I had thought I would but that doesn’t mean I’m alone. Two months after Henry and I ended things I met someone. Someone who changed my look on love. Someone who I never expected but was exactly what I needed. And of course someone who had a connection to that comic book world I love so much. He was right under my nose and I never had any clue. Isn’t it funny how Mr. Right is the last please you’d expect to find him. I guess I shouldn’t leave you in suspense any longer and tell you who it is that has given me a new outlook on love. I’m sure you’ll know him, he has played a super hero, what can I say I like what I like. His name is Joseph Gordon Levitt and he’s my boyfriend.
It’s amazing what you find right outside your door, Joseph only lives a few blocks away. Like how on the night when Jason, Henry and Chris told me they loved me there was a knock on my door. I thought it was one of them looking for my answer, but when I answered the door no one was there. What was there was a letter from a publishing house that I had send a few sample chapters of my book to. I had thought they just read it, didn’t like it, and threw it out. Turns out they did read it and loved it! My book is getting published but you know that already. The letter must have been delivered to my neighbor instead. I wish they would have stuck around so that I could have thanked them. At this point I wonder if we’ll ever meet.
If you’d like to download any of the characters or builds you see in this story I will post the links to them below, along with a great big thank you to the creators!
Erin created by swcheppes
Jason Momoa created by viltor87 (I’ve given him a bit of a makeover compared to the downloaded version)
Chris Hemsworth created by JRockCa (I’ve given him a bit of a makeover compared to the downloaded version)
Chris Evans created by yddam98
Henry Cavill created by andreamigriane
Jospeh Gordon Levitt originally created by Snorkas, downloaded aiqueabsurdo (I’ve given him a bit of a makeover compared to the downloaded version)