The Bachelor: Disney Villains Edition Ep.8 – Evil Always Wins

It is the night we have all been waiting for!  Jafar will make his choice of who he wants to stand with til the end of time.  It’s been a long bumpy road but we have finally made it to this moment.  There has been tears shed, names called, and thankfully no punches thrown.  But all that is the past as tonight is about Jafar and the lucky girl he chooses  for his future.  And what about the girl he chooses, their life will change in every way.  We found out our final two last week, Ursula and Drizella.  Ursula had started this competition strong.  After winning the solo date in the second week, her and Jafar quickly formed a close bond.  This bond only grew stronger as the weeks went by.  Coming into tonight will that bond be able to carry her to the finish line?  And then there’s Drizella.  To say she’s been the underdog this whole competition would be the understatement of the century.  In fact it looked like Jafar would have sent her home mid way through the game.  However their date turned everything around and Drizella climbed to the top.  But after finally giving into her true feelings she was crushed by something her mother told her (we know not very shocking).  Does she even still want to be the one standing next to Jafar at the end?  We will learn this and so much more tonight in the season finale of The Bachelor: Disney Villains Edition.

We rejoin the remaining house guests on the last day in the house.  Each of them is contemplating what they’ve been through and what this day means.

“When I signed up for this ages ago I never imagined how hard this would be.  I figured I would breeze through this and have a clear cut choice at the end.  But I can honestly say at this moment I still don’t know who I will be giving that final rose to tonight.”

“When my mother told me she had been intimate with Jafar I felt my heart break into two.  I told myself that would be a deal breaker.  I was going to be out and never look back.  But I woke up this morning still in love with Jafar.  What am I going to do?”

“This day is going to be a breeze.  There is no possible chance Jafar will choose that silly little child over me.  I mean look at me, what guy would refuse me now that I’m so sexy!”

Jafar still not sure what he was going to do decided that maybe a nice relaxing bath would give him some clarity.  Even if he still couldn’t decide at least he’d be clean.

“I may not know who I’m picking but I do know that I will be looking good while a choose.  I’ll be like a diamond in the rough.”

I’m not sure why but I don’t think you’re the one who’s the diamond in the rough.

As has become the tradition the ladies will not see Jafar until tonight which meant it was just Ursula and Drizella for breakfast this morning.  Drizella’s news was still weighing heavily on her mind.  Drizella knew that in all likely hood her and Ursula wouldn’t be any type of friends after leaving here but she still felt that Ursula deserved to know the truth about Lady Tremaine and Jafar’s date.  She would have hoped that Ursula would have showed her the same kindness if the tables were turned.  Most likely Ursula would have not.

“I know Ursula probably thinks she has this in the bag.  That’s even more reason for me to tell her about my mother and my date for that matter.  If she’s the one who will be spending the rest of her life with Jafar she would want to know about his feelings he had for the other girls.”

“I pretended to be shocked when Drizella told me about Lady Tremaine and Jafar doing the nasty.  But honestly I pretty much figured Jafar had gotten into all of the girls pants in this house at least once.  It doesn’t bother me at all.  If he’s screwing with these girls or any girls after he chooses me then we’ll have a problem.”

The girls finished up their breakfast downstairs while Jafar was enjoying a little alone time upstairs.  You may not be aware of this but Jafar is a bit of a chemist.  He loves mixing and creating new potions for a lack of a better word.  In fact the reason we had the girls search for elements this season was at the request of Jafar.  He wanted those elements for new experiments.  Since he had some time before his big decision he decided to play around with some of them.

“I hate the word chemist.  What I am is more of a sorcerer.  I have the ability to create peoples wildest dreams and deepest desires all with mixing the right ingredients.  There is a special mixture I’ve been dying to try and I now finally have everything I need to make it.”

Too bad Jafar couldn’t whip up a love potion.  It would have saved him and us a lot of time.

Downstairs Drizella was still in a bit of haze.  She was trying to forget what her mother had told her but every time she thought she was over it it would pop back in her mind.

“What I really need is some closure from my mother.  I feel like that’s the only way I will truly get past this.  I just don’t know how I’m supposed to do that before I have to meet with Jafar.”

Ursula too was a bit restless.  All of that down time was beginning to make her wonder if this is what she wanted.  If she wanted Jafar to be her happily ever after.  All of her wondering lead her to Jafar’s door.  She knew there was no sneaking in there today but she felt like if she was just able to see him, to touch him right then and there she would know for sure.

“Time is the worst thing.  When you have no time you’re wondering what could have been and when you have to much time you second guess everything that you’ve felt.  By far this has been the hardest day in this house for me.”

When we last left Drizella she said she had needed closure to finally get past the fact that her mother and the man she loved had been together in the closest way possible.  And that is exactly what she intended to do.  Drizella had always been passive when it came to her mother but not anymore.  Today would be the day when she would be the one talking and her mother would have to listen.

“If I want to have any sort of future with Jafar I need to confront my past.  And that means telling my mother everything I’ve ever wanted to tell her.  It won’t be easy and I’m sure she’ll make me live to regret it but at least I will finally feel free.”

That is one conversation that I want nothing to do with.  Let’s hope Drizella is still standing after it’s all said and done.

It was getting closer and closer to the end.  It wouldn’t be long now until one girl was declared the winner and the other losing their shot at love.  Everyone went to their rooms to get ready to learn their fate.

“This is it. Only a few more minutes and this whole thing is over.  Like I said before time is the funniest thing. By the way can we all just stop for a minute to acknowledge how amazing I look.”

“Talking to my mother actually helped.  There was a lot of yelling and some crying, me not her, but I now know what I want.  The only question is it the same thing as Jafar.”

“This whole day I’ve been going back and forth between Ursula and Drizella.  But I now know for sure who I want standing beside me…or slightly behind me…until eternity.”

With Jafar finally making his decision it was time to make it official.  As usually we gave the elimination room a little makeover.  We removed all the machinery and swapped it out for some flowers and candles.  For the first time this season a girl won’t leave this room still searching for love.  We gave Jafar a moment alone before we sent the first girl in.

“I don’t know why I’m nervous.  It’s silly really.  It’s not like the girl I choose is going to turn me down.  I mean who would turn down all this…and don’t you dare bring up two weeks ago.”

Well you said it not us!

Jafar was ready for the first girl.  In walked Ursula.  Jafar could barely contain his excitement over seeing Ursula.  As we mentioned before these two truly had a strong connection.  It would be a big shocker I think to most of the audience if Ursula was not the one Jafar chose tonight.

“I had to catch my breath when I saw Ursula walk through those doors.  She looked stunning.  Purple is really her color.”

“Oh I knew just how good I looked.  Jafar would be a fool not to choose me.”

Jafar spent the next few minutes laying it on thick for Ursula.  He told her how he had never felt this way about anyone  That he wasn’t normally that guy who’s whole world was a girl but that she was that girl for him.  He wanted to treasure her and treat her like the queen she was.By the way this was going it was looking like our winner would be picked right then and there.

“It was looking more and more like I was walking away with the prize, that prize being Jafar.  Unless Jafar has a sick way of letting a girl down.”

“I had been going back and forth all morning over who I would pick.  But the moment Ursula walked through those doors the competition was over.  She has had my heart and so many other parts of me since day one.”

Well it looks like we have our winner and Jafar was about to make it as official as you can.  He was going to put a ring on that.

“I honestly had no intention of getting down on one knee at the end of this.  Yes I was always going to pick a girl but I doubted I’d find someone worthy of my complete and utter devotion.  With Ursula it’s different.  I want to be the one to be completely devoted to her.  I want her to be my dirty little wife for now and for always.  All she has to do is say yes.”

Unfortunately that was something that Ursula couldn’t do.

“I know I know I said that I wanted to be the winner at the end of this but these last few weeks I realized I only wanted to win so I can say I won.  I didn’t want to win because I loved Jafar.  Jafar’s great…ok he’s not great but he was a bit of fun.  I’ve been through a transformation these past few weeks and I realized I deserve something more then just a good time.  I deserve a prince charming.  It’s not just those princess twits that should get happy endings.  I know I should have said something to Jafar when I started feeling this way but the competitor in me had to see this through and try to win it all.”


Jafar was once again in disbelief.  This couldn’t be happening to him again.  All the girls leaving a few weeks ago had been embarrassing enough.  He wasn’t going to stand for it.  There was no way he was going to let Ursula walk away unharmed.

“That sea hag thinks she can say no to me.  She says she deserves a prince charming, she doesn’t deserve a damn thing.  If she honestly thinks she can do any better then me she’s more delusional then I thought.  I will see to it that no man will go within 2 feet of her.”

While Jafar spewed out his threats Ursula couldn’t help but contain her true feelings.

“It’s hilarious that Jafar thinks he has any sort of power over me.  Ha ha ha I needed a good laugh like that after haven’t to endure these last few weeks with Jafar.”

“It took every last bit of restraint I had not to slap the smile of that hideous face of hers.”

We decided not to take any chances of Jafar actually hitting Ursula and suggested that it was time for Ursula to leave.  She let out on more big laugh and turned for the door. She never looked back once.

“I’m sorry if this messed up your little show but I’m not willing to settle for the first guy who shows an interest in me.  I’ve got a brand new body and a new outlook on life.  It’s time to find a man who truly deserves all of this.”

Ursula had left but Jafar was still reeling with what had just happened.  This is for sure not what he had signed up for.

“If I had know what a huge waste of time, and in Ursula’s case I definitely mean huge, I wouldn’t have bothered.  I have gaggles of woman lined up at my door at home.”

Who uses the word gaggle anymore?

Before Jafar had any more time to think about yet another girl rejecting him Drizella entered the room.  She had no idea what had just happened.  As far as she knew she was going to be the girl Jafar choose.  What would Jafar do, reject Drizella before she had a shot to walk out on him or give love one more try?

“All I wanted was to leave this wretched house forever.  I was annoyed and tired of this nonsense.  But when I turned to leave there was Drizella.  She looked like a fresh of breath air, all innocent and corruptible.”

“I’ve never been more nervous then I was walking into that room.  I was sweating in places that a girl shouldn’t be sweating in when she was meeting the man she may possibly spend the rest of her life with.”

It seems that Jafar was going to give it another go and try his luck with Drizella.  He figured she would never have to know that she was his second choice.   I guess he forgot that this is a reality show that Drizella will be able to watch when she gets back home.

“I don’t know why I ever thought that Ursula was the right choice for me. Drizella is so pure and clean.  Ursula was definitely the nastiest girl here.  I probably would have contracted a std if I haven’t already from her.”

“Jafar was all over me like white on rice.  That has to mean he’s going to choose me right?”

Then there was a bit of deja vu.  Jafar started telling Drizella he had never felt this way about any one and that he wasn’t the sort of guy….well you’ve already heard all this so let’s just skip ahead to the good part.  Once again Jafar got down on his knee, ready to try again at finding a partner to spend the rest of his life with.  Who cares if she wasn’t his first choice.

“What’s that saying second time’s a charm?”

The only thing is that it really wasn’t.  Surprisingly or maybe not so surprisingly it looked like Jafar would be getting rejected yet again.

“You’ve got to be f@$#ing kidding me!!!”

Drizella tried to keep her composure.  She really didn’t want things to end like this, with her blubbering like an idiot.  But she was unable to control her emotions.  It seemed that Drizella just couldn’t get past the fact that Jafar had slept with her mother. She couldn’t be with him no matter how much she may have wanted to.

“I’ve dreamt of this moment since our first date.  This is everything I could have wanted but when Jafar was professing his love to me down on one knee all I could see was him and my mother together, thrusting and grunting.  I knew I would never be able to look at Jafar the same after that moment.  So even though I loved him I couldn’t be with him. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.  But I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.  My mother always finds a way to ruin my life, why should this moment be any different.”

And just like we had seen a few weeks ago Jafar was standing all alone.  We’ve watched him date and flirt his way through each girl this season only to be left by himself at the end.  Even we couldn’t predict this outcome.  Jafar would be leaving this house the way he came into it, a bachelor.

“I’ve always known I was too good for all of these girls.  Not one of them was worthy of me.  I guess it’s time for plan B.”

We are about to find out just what plan B is.

We were packing up our gear and breaking the production down when we noticed Jafar hadn’t left the house yet.  Seeing the kind of day he had had we didn’t have the heart to kick him out.  We let him stay for a little longer.  They guy had just been dumped twice in a row he deserved to enjoy a glass of wine before he had to return back to his sad life.  The only thing was there were two glasses of wine on that table.  So either Jafar has a drinking problem or he wasn’t alone.

“Do you want to know the real reason I did this competition?  It was to help me forget about her, the love of my life….Jasmine.  I had always been in love with Jasmine ever since I started working for her father.  She always put up this front that she detested me but deep down I knew she loved me.  I had been working on a way to uncover that love and I finally have it.”

How will being on a reality tv show make Jasmine uncover her “true” feelings. If anything this would make her like you even less.  I don’t understand what Jafar is trying to get at.

You could tell by the way Jasmine stared Jafar down that she really had no desire to be here.  It was clear there was no feelings of love for Jafar in Jasmine.  However that seemed to go right over Jafar’s head.  He acted like a guy who was having the best date of his life.  His confidence was a bit eerie.

“When I got the call from Jafar that he wanted to meet I thought there is no way I want to be stuck in the same room as that egotistical snake.  He tried to overthrow my father and harassed me countless times.  He even tried to have an old boyfriend of mine taken out if you know what I mean.  So why did I come tonight?  I wanted to warn his future wife of the disgusting man he really was.  I was shocked, ok not really shocked, when I found him alone.”

After learning that there was no girl to warn Jasmine was ready to leave and never speak to Jafar again.  However Jafar insisted that she stay for at least one glass of wine.  He said it was a very special bottle that he had saved just for her. Jasmine resisted a few times but in the end she did like a good glass of red, besides what harm could one little glass do.

“I knew after just one sip Jasmine would quickly be changing her mind about staying.”

“I have to give it to the guy, he can pick out a good tasting wine.”

Almost instantly Jasmine’s whole demeanor changed.  She no longer wanted to bolt for the door.  In fact she was no longer staring at Jafar in a way that she wanted to kill him.  It was almost like she was under some sort of spell.

“I’ve never noticed before but he really is quite hot, in a evil old man kind of way.”

“Looks like plan B is going just how I intended.”

Jasmine was starting to feel a little strange….I’d say more like super strange.  She excused herself to go to the bathroom to splash a little water on her face.  She was surprised that the wine was hitting her so hard so fast.  She has always been able to hold her alcohol well.  She became dizzy and it seemed like she was going to be sick.  But within minutes the room stopped spinning and Jasmine was herself again or at least that’s what she thought.

“I guess that wine was a lot stronger then I expected.  But it only lasted a few minutes.  Thank goodness because I was starting to miss Jafar.  Being away from him for only a few minutes was like an eternity.”

WHAT!!!  Did she just say she missed Jafar?

Jasmine may have thought she was just fine but she sure wasn’t acting that way.  She was acting like a whole other person.  And that person seemed to have a thing for Jafar.  Of course Jafar was pleased with Jasmine sudden change.

“Like I said I always knew Jasmine secretly loved me.  It was all about unlocking it.  Good thing I had the right ingredients to do so.”

Oh no…you remember before how Jafar had said he was dying to try a new mixture he just was always missing the right elements?  I’m pretty sure we just helped Jafar make a love potion .  And unfortunately Jasmine is his test subject.

The couple both decided they needed a change of scenery.  Jafar suggested his bedroom.  Once upstairs they both made themselves more comfortable.

“I’ve always had this fantasy of Jasmine as my slave. I had this outfit made for her in hopes that she would one day wear it for me.  Who says dreams don’t come true!”

“If my Jafar poo wants me to be his slave then I don’t want to disappoint him.  I can’t wait to call him master in bed.”

I think I’m going to be sick.  Why did we not kick Jafar out of the house after the final rose ceremony.

 Jafar was delighted to see his little slave Jasmine.  He said he just wanted to encase her in an hourglass and watch sand pour all over her (yeah we don’t get it either).  But since he didn’t have a giant hourglass handy he had to settle for making out with her.

“I love Jafar.  And I will forever and ever.”

“I know that this potion will wear off in the morning.  I only had enough to make a small dose.  Maybe we can do this season all over again so I can get some more ingredients?”

Yeah I think that would be a very strong no!

Jasmine would be waking up the next morning with a massive headache and a death wish for Jafar.  Rather then subject you to anymore of this we will end things here.  It has been a hell of a season and we are so thrilled that you joined us for it.  We apologize again for the crazy schedule and not always getting episodes out in a timely matter, but that is reality tv.  We hope you’ll join us in a few weeks for our next season.  We’d like to say it will be less crazy then this one but something tells me it’s going to be Wild!


Of course we wouldn’t leave you wondering what happened to all your favorite houseguests. And of course you want to know how Jasmine reacted when she found out what Jafar had done.


I’m sure you’ll all be happy to hear that Cruella and Iago are still together.  They are currently planning their wedding.  Cruella wants it to be the most over the top garish wedding you have ever seen.  Iago is still worried that Jafar will exact his revenge but he knows that Cruella will be there to protect him.


After being disqualified from the competition Claudette suffered a bit of depression.  She truly thought she would wind up with Jafar in the end and was heartbroken when he didn’t do anything to try and keep her in the game.  She started seeing a therapist 3 times a week to battle her depression.  His name is Jiminy Cricket and they are getting good use out of that couch during their sessions.


Anastasia is still with Gustav and she is still waiting for him to leave his wife.  He swears that it will be soon, that it’s just messy because of the kids.  Anastasia doesn’t mind because she has someone else to keep her busy while she waits.  His name is Don and prefers a relationship with no commitment.


Once Malfecient broke from filming she disappeared.  Don’t worry she’s still alive she had her 15 minutes of fame and decided that was enough for a lifetime.  She has taken refugee in a cave in Granite Falls.  Unfortunately that is about all we know.


Unlike Maleficent, Lady Tremaine tried to stretch out her 15 minutes to a lot longer.  She got herself an agent and took some headshots.  Shockingly she landed a leading role on a new sitcom about an overbearing mother who clearly never wanted to have kids in the first place.  It’s called Mother Doesn’t Know Best.  This part was written for her!


Playing the field was something Ursula never really experienced. Being a larger woman before she started this show guys weren’t always flocking toward.  Since leaving the house and losing the weight she has been on tons of dates she can hardly keep track.  The truth is she loves it.  She’s learned that she’s not ready to settle down anytime soon.  She enjoying the life of living in a new mans bed each night.


The dream of finding true love was crushed for Drizella once again by her mother.  She vowed that this would be the last time.  Drizella has cut off all ties from her mother and hasn’t been happier.  Remember that cute little cottage she and Jafar went to on their date, well she bought it and is living the simple life.  She’s even made friends with the rugged mountain man next door.  But she told us she is taking things really slow with him.  She did however make sure he never slept with her mother.


When Jasmine woke up the next morning in Jafar’s arms she thought she would be sick (that also may have been a side effect of the potion).  She was furious and was set to strangle Jafar right then and there.  But she held off thinking that death was to kind of a punishment for him.  Instead she set out to destroy him.  She pressed charges against him and because of the footage we shot was able to get him sent away for a long long time.  The only relationship Jafar would be having for the next few years would be with his cellmate.

4 thoughts on “The Bachelor: Disney Villains Edition Ep.8 – Evil Always Wins

  1. I am so so so happy that everyone decided they deserved better than him! (Also, I am so glad Jasmine pressed charges – he truly is an evil man). It makes me happy that all the others are doing well! (Even Anastacia, in her own way). Maleficent… well, I hope she’s happy in her cave =p

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s