The Bachelorette: Disney Sidekick Edition – Men Tell All Special

 

Chris: Hello everyone and welcome to The Bachelorette: Disney Sidekick Edition.  I’m your host Chris Harrison.  Are you guys in for a treat tonight.  The guys and Audrey are here to tell us what really happened this season and to spill all their secrets.  We will also find out who the father of Audrey’s baby is.  It really could be anyone.  So sit back, relax, and grab some pop corn while you enjoy this special episode, the Men Tell All!

Chris: First off let’s welcome the guys, hi guys!

Guys: Hey Chris!

Chris: Joining us tonight we have Arthur, Michael and fan favorite Kronk.

Chris: On the next couch we have the final three guys, Kocoum, Lefou and our winner Grumpy.  You’ll notice that Christopher Robin is not with us tonight.  After everything that happened between him and our bachelorette, Audrey requested he not be here.  If I’ve ever learned anything from my wife it’s you don’t ever argue with a pregnant woman.

Lefou:  You’ve got to be kidding!  Kocoum are you seriously wearing the same suit?!  How did you even afford this suit?  It’s an original Tom Ford retailing around $700.

Kocoum: I found this suit at the Target.

Lefou: Target!! Absolutely not!  Gaston gave me this suit it’s Tom Ford, he told me so!  I demand you change now.

Kocoum: Ha ha you are silly little man.  I’ve missed you’re jokes. Take of my suit that’s a good one.

Chris:  Ok boys lets settle down.  No one is changing.  We have a show to get started.

Chris:  Let’s talk with the first guy eliminated this season, Arthur.

Chris:  Hello Arthur it’s been a long time since we’ve seen you.  How have you been?

Arthur:  It’s great to see you again Chris.  I’m so happy to be here.  I’ve been great.  Just living the king life, you know how that is.

Chris:  Well no I really don’t know how that is, not being a king or anything.

Arthur:  You are the king of reality tv!

Chris:  Ha ha I guess you can say that, though Jeff Probst is right on my heels.  Anyway you were pretty vocal when you were eliminated that you weren’t heartbroken.  In fact you seemed pretty happy to have been eliminated so early on.  Did you ever really want to be here?  Why did you even sign up if you weren’t serious about finding love?

Arthur:  Of course I want love Chris, everybody does.  But I’m only 24 years old and there’s so much more I want before I settle down.  I want adventure and excitement and not to be tied down.  Unfortunately in my line of business there are some things that are expected.  I’m expected to have a wife by my side, heck I should have already produced an heir by now.  I was getting a lot of pressure from my family to get married.  I thought coming on the show would appease them, and I did think it was possible I’d find love, stranger things have happened.  But I knew right from the beginning Audrey wasn’t going to be it.

Arthur:  Audrey isn’t exactly the queen type.  She’s a bit rough around the edges.  She doesn’t have the refine that comes with being a woman of title.  I hate to admit it but I’m way out of her league.

Arthur:  I would have been laughed out of the kingdom if I had brought Audrey hom…..oh hey Kronk.  I don’t think it’s your turn buddy…

Kronk:  How dare you say those things about Audrey.  She’s a f@#!ing goddess!  I would be honored to call her my queen.

Kronk:  You got it all wrong.  You’re the one who’s so out of her league.  She’s the majors and you’re barely even pee wees.

Arthur:  Good thing I don’t like baseball.  I’m more of a soccer fan.

Chris:  I have one more question for you before we talk to the next guy.  This question is actually from one of our viewers.  @Taralris94 asks, what will you be doing with your life now that the show is over?  Do you plan on staying friends with the other bachelors or Audrey?

Arthur:  I’m planning on doing a huge trip around the world with some of my buddies.  And by buddies I do not mean any of the guys here.  I doubt very much that I will keep in touch with anyone here.  It’s just I’m really from a different world compared to these guys.  I wish them all the best though.

Chris:  Well I wish you and especially the people of Camelot lots of luck.  It sounds like they are going to need it.  Let’s get another guy over here.  Michael come have  seat.

Michael:  Hi Chris, hi bachelor nation!  Also I just want to say hi to my sister Wendy and my brother John.  Oh and hi to Nana and Peter….

Chris:  Ok ok I think that’s enough hi’s for now.  This is only an hour show.  Michael you were the youngest contestant on the show do you think that hurt your chances with Audrey?

Michael:   Definitely.  I feel like Audrey never took me seriously.  She always just saw me as this little kid.

Chris:  So if you think Audrey had given you more of a chance do you think it would have been you at the end of this?

Michael:   Yeah if she….

(the mics pick up a conversation going on between Grumpy and Lefou)

Grumpy:  Can I help you with something Lefou because you’re kind of staring.  Did I accidentally wear the same socks as you?  I’ll gladly take them off and stuff them in that stupid grin you got on you.

Lefou:  I was just wondering what it mus feel like to know that the woman you love, the woman you proposed to might be carrying another mans baby? By the way when’s the wedding, oh that’s right she never answered you.”

Grumpy:  I hate you so much.

Lefou: Not as much as you’re going to hate me if I’m the father.

Michael:  ….that’s what I think at least.

Chris:  This next question is another from a fan.  @Marialein asks were you very sad that the dance floor was removed from the house?

Michael:  At first I didn’t care that much.  I mean you don’t need a dance floor to dance.  But after awhile I really did start to miss it.  I missed the huge dance parties we would have.  It really brought us together as a house.  We were able to forgot that we were competing against each other for a little bit and act like buddies, like brothers.

Chris:  Well thank you so much for coming back and chatting with us Michael.  I wish you all the best in the future.  It’s time for another guy to take the spotlight.  Kronk why don’t you come join me.

Kronk:  Hello Chris.  It’s a lovely day isn’t it?

Chris:  Ugh yes it is.  Why don’t you leave the questions to me ok. You were one of our most popular bachelors in the history of the show.  Why do you think people loved you so much?

Kronk:  I honestly don’t know.   I’m just a regular guy there’s nothing that special about me.  I do make a wicked spinach puff but it’s not like the audience was able to taste them.  I guess women like a guy who can cook, maybe that’s why I was so well liked.

Chris:  You clearly fell for Audrey fast and hard.  You were one of the first guys she was intimate with.  Do you really feel that Audrey was the one for you?  Knowing how things turned out would you still have taken the relationship as far as you guys did?

Kronk:  I did love Audrey, part of me always will.  Girls like her don’t come around often.  Of course I wish things had turned out differently for us but I would never change a moment of the time we shared together.

Kronk:  I’m not going to give up looking for love.  I know I have a lot to offer and according to the fans I’m pretty likable.  Hey maybe I’ll reach out to some of them.  You never know where you’ll find love.

Chris:  Speaking of the fans @Spottydog714 wants to know if you would want the baby to be yours?  You and Audrey were close so it is possible you’re the father.

Kronk:  If you had asked me this question a few weeks ago I would have no doubt in my mind said yes.  But now I hope I’m not the father.  It would be too hard knowing that I’d only be in his or her life part time.  It would kill me to not be with that baby every moment of their life.

Kronk:  But if I am the father I will not sneak out on my responsibilities and I will love that little nugget with all my heart.

Chris:  That baby would be lucky to call you their father.  But I can tell you with 100% certainty you are not the father.  Speaking of possible baby daddies let’s talk to Kocoum next.

silence 

Chris:  Ok I guess I’ll get this started.  Welcome back Kocoum.  I take it since leaving the house you have returned back to your tribe.  Was it hard getting back into the swing of things there after being away so long?

Kocoum:  No.

Chris:  I see you are still a man of few words.

Michael:  Psst Kronk do you think Kocoum is the father?  I bet you he is.  One thing we know is it can’t be me!  Audrey and I never played hide the pickle.  That’s what my mom calls you know ..hushed tone..woohoo.

silence

Chris:  We have another question from @Marialein.  We saw a lot of the guys using the closets as a place to hide, among other things, she wants to know what was your favorite hiding place in the house?

Kocoum:  A warrior never hides.

Chris:  Well that went as well as expected.  It’s always a pleasure Kocoum and by the way you are not the father…yup no reaction at all, just what I thought.  Ok it’s time to talk to your twin for the day Lefou.

Chris:  Hi Lefou, how are you feeling tonight.

Lefou:  Oh my god this is so exciting.  I feel like a celebrity or something.  Now I know how Gaston feels everyday of his life.

Chris:  It’s perfect that you bring up Gaston because I wanted to ask you about this obsession you have with him.  When did it start?  And if I’m being truthful here why him?

Lefou:  I don’t know if I’d call it an obsession [laughter is heard coming from the couches]  I just really admire the man.  We met years ago at this little tavern in town, it was around the time he was chasing Belle.  I remember just being amazed by him.  He was so confident and suave, every man wanted to be like him and every girl wanted to date him, well not Belle but that’s another story for another time.

Lefou:  How could you not want to be around someone like that.

Chris:  I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.  I have another question from the fans.  This one is from @VIRTUALEE.  She wants to know what was the hardest thing to deal with in this competition that you weren’t expecting to deal with?

Lefou:  Wow what a hard question.  I guess I’d have to say actually becoming friends with these guys but still knowing you were competing against them.  I couldn’t help how strong mine and Audrey’s relationship was and I felt bad that the other guys had to watch that.  It had to be hard knowing you were second fiddle.

Chris:  You do realize you came in second place.

Lefou:  Yeah but to Grumpy.  I’m sure Audrey is going to realize that mistake sooner or later.

Chris:  Why don’t we invite Grumpy to come join us it looks like he itching to get up here.

Lefou:  Come on Grumpy knows I was just kidding.   We do it all the time, right buddy.

Grumpy:  I’ve never met a more conniving, sniveling, disgrace for a man in my entire life.  What Audrey ever saw in him I will never know.  Why don’t you all do us a favor, buddy, and go back to being Gaston’s little lapdog. Or should I say his little bitch.

Lefou:  Ha!  I’m the little bitch.  I wasn’t the one chasing Audrey around the house like a love sick puppy dog.  It’s no wonder she didn’t say yes when you asked her to marry you.  I mean who would want to spend a lifetime with that.

Grumpy:  You’ve got to be kidding me you never left her side for a minute in that house.  She would have to hide out in the closet to get away from you.  I’m still shocked she woohooed with you, it had to be a pity lay.

Chris:  Ok ok guys let’s calm down and remember this is a family show.  Maybe you should go back to the couch Lefou.  I’d like to talk to Grumpy for a while.

Lefou:  You do know how babies are made right Grumpy, it only takes one time.  Even if it’s out of pity.

Grumpy:  Can I please pound his face in now.

Chris:  I’m going to have to say no to face pounding.  First of let me congratulate on winning.  It hasn’t been an easy road but you were the last guy standing so to speak.  I know it wasn’t exactly the ending you had pictured.

Grumpy:  Yeah that day was a rollercoaster of emotions.  When I saw Audrey standing there with that final rose I was just praying it was me she wanted to give it to.  Then she told me she loved me, I was flying high.  I was actually going to get the girl.  That doesn’t happen for guys like me.

Grumpy:  Then I got down and proposed and I honestly couldn’t see her saying no.  I definitely didn’t expect her to tell me she was pregnant.

Chris:  That leads me to the question on everyone’s mind what would you do if the baby isn’t yours?  Right now there’s only you and Lefou left so it’s a 50/50 chance either way.  Will you still want to marry Audrey if the baby turns out to be Lefou’s?

Grumpy:  Chris I want to sit her and tell you that it doesn’t matter.  But I honestly don’t know what I’ll do.  I love Audrey with all my heart but as much as I love her I’ve grown to despise Lefou.  And if he’s the father he’ll become a huge part of our lives.  I don’t know if I can spend a life time with him.

Chris:  It’s a tough situation to be in.  I don’t envy you buddy.  But you’re not the only one caught between a rock and a hard place.  I’d like to welcome Audrey to join us and see where her head is.

sounds of gasps emerge from the couches

Audrey:  Hi Chris, Grumpy.

Grumpy:  Here you should sit closer to Chris.

Chris:  How are you doing Audrey?  You look lovely by the way.  You’re how far along now because you’re barely showing at all?

Audrey:  Thank you Chris that’s very sweet of you but I look a mess.  I’m feeling ok, there’s a lot of nausea and some acid reflux.  But I’m only 2 months in so it’s going to get a whole lot worse.

Chris:  I’ve heard the morning sickness goes away in the second trimester.  I know you were backstage when we were just talking to Grumpy and heard everything he said.  How does that make you feel knowing that he’s not sure he can make this work.

Audrey:  I get it.  And I wouldn’t want him to stay just because he thinks it’s the right thing to do.  But I’m hoping that regardless the outcome he’ll want this because my feelings for him haven’t changed.  I love him.

Grumpy:  You know that I love you Audrey and I’m praying that the baby is mine.  It would make things so much easier.

Chris:  The time has come for us to find out the truth.  I’m going to ask Lefou to join us again as we find out the results.

Lefou:  What a cute little family we make.  Don’t you think?

Chris:  Lefou I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago and tell you to shut up.  Audrey are ready to find out who the father is.

Audrey:  Yes I am.

Chris:  I’m so sorry to have to tell you this but Grumpy you are not the father.  That means Lefou is the father.

Lefou:  Looks like my first time was more special then I thought.

Grumpy:  You need to shut you mouth before I shut it for you.

Audrey:  Grumpy please calm down.

Grumpy:  Calm down!  The woman I’m in love with is pregnant with this pathetic man and I’m supposed to calm down.  I can’t do this, I’m out of here.

Lefou:  Way to be a good dad Grumpy, oh wait you aren’t the dad.

Everyone:  Shut up Lefou!!!

Chris:  Don’t worry we won’t let him get to far.  You should go talk to him Audrey.

Lefou:  Was it something I said.

Audrey:  Grumpy I’m so sorry.  I wanted it to be you more then anything.

Grumpy:  I shouldn’t have walked out like that it’s just Lefou drives me crazy and I was afraid of what I would do if I stayed in there.

Audrey:  I know, Lefou drives everyone crazy.  Grumpy you know how much I love you and how much I want you in my life and my baby’s life.  You’re my happily ever after.  But I know asking you to be with me means alot, so I’ll understand if you want to walk away.  Just know that you are the love of my life and that will never change.

Grumpy:  You’re the love of my life too and I’m not going anywhere.  I’m in!  Truth is a life without you isn’t much of a life.  And I will love this kid as if it were mine.  I mean someone has to make up for the kid having a crappy father.

Grumpy:  So since I’m in that means you have to give me an answer to the question I asked you.  Will you marry me?

Audrey:  Yes, yes, so much yes!  Now let’s go back inside and tell Chris and the world the good news!

Chris:  Well you both came back and you’re both smiling.  I’m guessing those are good signs.

Audrey:  Very good signs!  Grumpy and I are engaged for real now!  Looks like this show really works.

Chris:  That’s great news.  I”m so happy for the both of you.  I really think you’ll make this work.  We have a little time left over.  Audrey would you mind answering a few questions from our viewers.  We had a lot of people writing in questions for you.

Audrey:  Of course, ask away.

Chris:  Our first question is from @VIRTUALEE, you knew this competition would be hard and perhaps awkward at times. But we saw you have some pleasant moments too. What was you favorite and most unexpected moment in this competition?

Audrey:  Hmm that’s a tough one.  There were so many great moments with these guys.  But I guess the one that sticks out the most is when Grumpy gave me the hand massage.  Yes it was painful and quite possibly the worst massage I’ve ever had but it was so unexpected of him.  It was the moment I started realizing there was so much about Grumpy I didn’t know and that I wanted to find out.

Chris:  Yeah that massage was painful to watch.  Our next question comes from @Spottydow714.  She wants to know how do you feel about getting pregnant? Are you looking forward to bringing a new bundle of life into the world? Or are you dreading the nights where you get no sleep because baby wants food?

Audrey:  Can I say yes to both of those!  I’m so excited to become a mother.  I’ve always wanted to become one, granted I thought it would happen a little later.  But I’m terrified of having to raise a baby.  I don’t have much experience with babies.  I’m just hoping I don’t break it.

Chris:  Sorry but we only have time for one more question which is from @TaraIris94.  She asks what were the most memorable dates (solo and group) for you?

Audrey:  I love this question.  The most memorable solo date was the movie date with Kocoum.  I can honestly say I’ve never been on a date like that before.  He was adorable and we had the best time.  As for group date, I loved going to the museum.  At that point in the competition I had really strong relationships with those three guys and it was nice to actually be able to spend time with each of them privately on the date.  In the first few weeks those group dates were so big I barely got to talk to all the guys.

Chris:  I just want to say again how happy I am for you Audrey.  I’m glad this all worked out for you.  And thank you for inviting us along on your journey of love.  It was a fun ride.

Chris:    Well we’re almost out of time but of course we couldn’t end the show without some bloopers.  Enjoy!

“I’m really starting to….buuuurp…excuse me.”

Chris:  These guys sure liked to not wear shirts this season.  I wonder if next season will be the same.  Seeing as it will be a house full of women I doubt the networks would let us get away with it.  Speaking of next season, we announced last week that next season will be Villains!  We’re going back to the original format and will have a new bachelor searching for love.  He’ll have seven devious ladies to choose from.  Now we received a question from @pammiechick if our new bachelor will be one of the guys from this season.  Sorry @pammiechick we won’t be seeing any of these guys next season.  But we promise our new bachelor will not disappoint.  Shall we meet him then?  It’s my pleasure to introduce you to our bachelor for The Bachelor: Disney Villains Edition, the royal vizier himself…

Jafar!

He’s looking for love in all the wrong places.

Chris:  I want to thank everyone for a great season, especially you the viewers.  There wouldn’t be a show without you.  I hope you all will join us in two weeks for the premiere of season 3, The Bachelor: Disney Villains Edition.  I promise you it will be worth it!  Once again I’m your host Chris Harrison, have a good night.

EPILOGUE

We didn’t want to leave you wondering about how your favorite bachelor is doing after the show so here’s a little look at what’s going on with each guy since leaving the house.

ARTHUR

Arthur returned to Camelot to a bit of an uproar.  The Knights of the Round Table were not happy with how Arthur portrayed himself and therefore Camelot.  He was striped of his title and ran out of town.  He’s now living in Oasis Springs working as a shirt folder at the Gap.

MICHAEL

Michael moved back in with his sister Wendy and her brother in law Peter. He recently started dating one of his brother in laws close friends Tinkerbelle.  She’s a little older then him but says she always had a thing for boys that never grew up.

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN

After being thrown out of the house Christopher Robin and Pooh Bear aka Winnie returned back home.  The house they live in is gorgeous but some may think it’s a bit institutional looking.  Christopher Robin is still living in a full house, him and Winnie have six roommates.  I bet they get into all sorts of crazy adventures in that house.

KRONK

Not having much to go back home to, and not remembering where home was, Kronk decided to settle in Windenburg.  He started up his own restaurant.  Which the star item on the menu, you guessed it, is spinach puffs.  Currently there’s a two month wait to get a table.

KOCOUM

Kocoum did indeed return to his tribe.  One day while canoeing down the river, taking the smoothest course, he came across a young woman in need of help.  He learned her name was Nakoma.  The two quickly hit it off and were married by the chief of the tribe.  They are currently expecting their first child.

LEFOU

Things weren’t so great for Lefou after he left the house.  After learning he was the father of Audrey’s baby she filed for sole custody and won.  But worse then that Gaston was not too pleased by some of the things Lefou had said on the show.  He filed a restraining order against Lefou.  But not everything was bad for him.  He rode his celebrity as long as he could, appearing in other reality shows such as The Surreal Life and Figure Skating with Stars.

As for Audrey and Grumpy they needed a lot more then a little paragraph on how they are doing.  So be on the lookout in the upcoming weeks for a whole big update just for them!

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14 thoughts on “The Bachelorette: Disney Sidekick Edition – Men Tell All Special

      1. your welecome. Some people have this odd theory that Gaston might be a relative of Prince/Beast from their movie and Lefou was Gaston’s Valet (and when the Prince was cursed) that the others were enchanted into being (rich) village folks.

        Like

  1. “Audrey and I never played hide the pickle.”

    I loved how it turned into a Maury Povich show with the whole DNA thing LOL

    Oh No!! I cant believe who the fathe ris UUGHHH lol poor kid.

    My favorite was the ‘where are they now’ at the end –
    reagrding Arthur – He’s now living in Oasis Springs working as a shirt folder at the Gap. LMAO!!

    Superb Job I do love your stories so much – will miss Grumpy and Audrey so I will be onthe look-out for their follow up ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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