The Bachelorette: Disney Sidekick Edition Ep.7 -Closets Aren’t Just For Clothes

Welcome back to The Bachelorette: Disney Sidekick Edition.  We are so excited you joined us.  With only one week before the finale you can be sure tonight’s episode will be packed with love, laughs and of course drama.  We are down to our final three guys who are still looking for love.  They’ve all built solid relationships with our bacherlorette Audrey over the last few weeks.  They each had a solo date with her allowing them to build the bonds they have formed.  Audrey has told us multiple times that she has strong feelings for each of these guys and can see a life with them  But we all know there can only be one winner when love is concerned.  Tonight Audrey will get a little more alone time with each guy as she goes on separate dates.  But these are no ordinary dates, these dates could turn into overnighters.  Audrey and each guy will have to decide if they want to extend their dates and have a little sleepover.  We’ve chosen three spectacular locations, sure to ignite romance.  But before we get to that lets chat with our houseguests and see how they are feeling with this being the last week.

“I can’t believe this is almost over.  I remember when Gaston was away for his season it felt like he was gone forever.  It was one of my happiest days when he came home, even if he came home with Ariel.  I wonder if he’s missing me that much?”

“The thought of Audrey making her decision in a week is both exciting and nerve racking.  I know we have a great connection and the spark is definitely there but I don’t know where she stands with the other guys.  I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with this girl, what if she is too only not with me.”

“Audrey is my next great adventure, I’m ready to get started.”

“I care about each of these guys, I’m even willing to say I love them all.  My stomach has been in knots thinking about next week.  This will be the first time I decide, not some comp.  I used to dread those comps but now I wish one would help me decide.  It’s hard not having anyone to talk to about this that will understand what I’m going through.”

That’s not entirely true Audrey there is one person who knows exactly what you are going through.  We thought it may be a good idea for Audrey to have that chat she wanted.  I’m guessing you can all guess who we called.


“It’s good to be back, I know you missed me.  You poor audience had to wait 6 weeks before seeing this gorgeous face.  How ever did you survive.”

Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.

Audrey seemed happy to see Gaston.  She had to admit if anyone understood what she was feeling it was Gaston.  Gaston seemed happy to be here too.  But we think it had something to do with the cameras on him again and the fact that Audrey was fun to look at.


“I have to admit I didn’t really watch last season. If I’m being completely honest Gaston didn’t really hold my interest.  I’m going to keep that to myself though, something tells me Gaston might not like that news.”

“Audrey was like a star struck fan girl when she met me.  It was incredibly adorable.  I’m so humbled.  It really means a lot to me that I can make someones dreams come true.  Part of me thinks she was hoping I would announce I’d be joining the house….but I’m taken.  Unless you guys really need the ratings??”

Thanks Gaston but our ratings are alright.  We can manage without you.

Audrey told Gaston she was really apprehensive about these upcoming overnight dates.  She wasn’t worried about the overnight part, in fact she was looking forward to that.  What worried her was going into these dates knowing the big decision that lay ahead.  What if she went on these dates and realized the feelings she had for the guys wasn’t real.  What if all this was a waste of time.  Gaston can be egotistical and self centered at times, ok most of the times, but sometimes he surprises you and drops a few gems of advice.


“I told Audrey I had the same reservations leading up to the overnight dates.  What got me through it was knowing I was listening to my heart.  There’s no guarantees in this game or in life for that matter but if you don’t follow your heart what’s the point.  Yes it might get broken but that’s the great thing about hearts, they always heal.  I also told her she had nothing to worry about though.  I’d been watching this season, yeah you tell Lefou I’ve seen everything and we have a lot to talk about, anyways it’s clear the three guys left are head over heels for her.  They’d be fools if they weren’t.”

And there’s that Gaston charm that made us love him last season.

The two continued to chat.  Gaston gave Audrey some more tips to get through the rest of the season.  He also told her how things with Ariel were going.


“Yeah Ariel and I are still together but we’re taking it slow.  We decided on a long engagement, you know to make sure we get everything perfect.  Actually shes out on this sea expedition with my buddy Eric.  They are looking for mermaids, but everyone knows mermaids don’t exist.  Those two get along really well I’m sure they are having a blast, that is when they aren’t missing me of course.”

Their meeting was approaching the two hour mark and Audrey thought it was time to go back to her guys.  Audrey was getting ready to say her goodbyes when in true Gaston fashion he started flirting with her.  I guess when the cat is away the mice will play.  Though in this case it seems like Ariel may be playing too.


“I wasn’t shocked at all that Gaston started hitting on me.  I’ve heard enough stories from you guys to know the kind of guy he was.  Is this how he always flirted?  I would have thought he would have been better at it.”

On that que it was time for Audrey to leave.  She tried to let Gaston down as smoothly as possible.  She was guessing he didn’t take rejection too well and she didn’t want to spend another minute in that bar.  The guys she was actually interested were waiting for her.


“I hope you guys don’t mind if I hang out here for a little, that’s on your dime right.  There’s a few ladies at the bar who look a bit lonely.  Of course me being a gentleman it wouldn’t be right for me to leave them all by themselves like that.”

Gaston it’s always a pleasure!

When we returned to the house Grumpy was busy trying to get the high score at the arcade game.  Well maybe the second high score, after the blow up between Audrey and Christopher Robin early in the season, Grumpy didn’t want to upset Audrey in the last week.  While he was playing he barely noticed that Audrey returned home from her mystery outing (we didn’t tell the guys that Audrey went to meet up with Gaston, mostly we were afraid Lefou would somehow sneak along).

Just a little side note look at those abs on Grumpy!


“You know I haven’t seen Audrey all day…wait what do you mean she was gone all afternoon.  How did I not notice that??”

Audrey was back from her outing with a clearer head.  But she wasn’t quite ready to get back in the game just yet.  She decided to continue working on the project she had started a few weeks ago.


“I don’t now why I’m still working on this thing.  It’s not like I can fit this back at my tiny place.  Any chance someone in production has room for a homemade rocket in their backyard?”

Audrey figured she’d spent enough time away from the boys.  She smelled the grill and decided to follow the smell.  She had no idea which guy was grilling but was pleasantly surprised when she found Kocoum manning the fire.


“Kocoum is already so hot but you put that man in front of a grill being all manly and he’s liable to burn the whole house down with his hotness!”

“I real man doesn’t play with fire he controls it.”

Audrey and Kocoum were enjoying a nice meal alone but not for long.  Lefou must have sensed that Kocoum was having some private time with Audrey and wanted to put an end to that.


“This is the last week which means I’m spending any chance I get with Audrey.  I feel like the three guys left are pretty close in regards to how Audrey feels about us that this week is really going to tip the scales in someone’s favor.  You better believe it’s going to be me.”

The trio were finishing up lunch when we let Audrey know that her first date was about to begin.  The lucky guy getting the first date this week was Kocoum.  Hopefully the saying firsts the worst doesn’t describe how their date goes.

Once again this week Audrey will be going on three dates, one with each guy remaining.  But as we mentioned before these are no ordinary dates.  We scoured the simverse for three perfect spots for our bachelorette to spend a romantic getaway with her guys.  Just like last season we took the guys personality and likes and tried to tailor the dates to them.  We wanted to create their ideal date with their perfect girl.  Each date will start off just like any normal solo date but when it winds down the couple will have the option to extend the date overnight.  Both Audrey and the guy she is with have to agree that this is the right move for them.  Last season Gaston opted to extend each date, will that be same for Audrey?  Let’s find out.

Kocoum was the first date and for his date with Audrey we brought it back to nature.  We all know how much Kocoum enjoys the simple things in life and how he’s a live off the land kind of guy.  It just so happens that Willow Creek has some great camping spots.  The only question is will Audrey share his enthusiasm for the great outdoors.


“I have to admit I was less then thrilled when I found out my date with Kocoum was a camping trip.  Its obvious I’m not a girly girl but that doesn’t mean I like sleeping in the dirt, swatting away flies.  I really hoped this date wouldn’t be a disaster.”

“Smell the air, listen to the birds chirping.  I’m home.”

Kocoum could tell Audrey was less then pleased  with their destination and made it his mission to show her all the beauty nature has offer.  It appeared to be working because by the looks of it Audrey was really enjoying mother nature.

 

 

 

“Maybe camping isn’t as bed as I originally thought.  I’d enjoy anything that results in being in Kocoum’s arms”

“Nature is beautiful but it pails in comparison to Audrey.”

The two explored the campgrounds a bit and discovered a little garden.  Kocoum loved smelling the different herbs and running the rich soul through his hands. Audrey liked the garden too it was the mosquitos she wasn’t a big fan of.


“Oh yeah that’s why I’m not an outdoors fan, the bugs.  Where was a big zapper when you needed it.”

While Audrey continued to battle with mother nature’s smallest creations Kocoum was busy laying on the romantic gestures.


“Kocoum may be silent most of the time but he sure know how to make a girl feel special.”

“It pained me to kill that flower but I knew Audrey needed a little distraction from the bugs.”

After finishing up in the garden Audrey suggested they sit by the lake again.  She said so far her favorite part of the great outdoors was making out and wanted to do much more of that.  Right as they were about to sit they heard a loud croak.  Kocoum’s eyes lit up as he moved closer to the lake.


“It is rare to find a tiger frog.  I’ve only encountered them once before.  They are said to be the frogs of love.”

Kocoum normally wouldn’t cage a living creature but he wanted to show Audrey what he kept calling the love frog. He would release it later.


“He was so excited about that silly frog, the love frog.  I guess it was cute at first but then when he kept telling me to kiss the frog it had gone too far.  He even started showing me how I should kiss it!”

“If you kiss the love frog in the presence of your true love you’ll be together forever.”

We don’t blame you Audrey that thing was slimey and didn’t smell right.  Even true love has it limits.

They spent the rest of the day doing what people do on a camping trip.  They both appeared to be having a good time despite Audrey nearly catching on fire.


“I’m starting to think I wasn’t made for camping or at least campfires.”

“I thought I smelt hair burning but Audrey assured me she was ok.”

There was one part of Audrey absolutely loved…roasting marshmallows!


“Kocoum was as sweet as that marshmallow.  I acted like I had no idea what I was doing.  He insisted on showing me.  Truth is I just want his arms around me.”

“I could have told Audrey what to do, but having my arms around her felt better.”

The date was winding down and it was getting to the time where Audrey and Kocoum had to decide if they be sleeping under the stars or calling it a night.  Audrey had been back and forth on this date, would her feelings for Kocoum be enough to convince her to sleep in the dirt?


“Of course I wanted to spend the night with Kocoum.  Being wrapped in his arms is definitely worth sleeping in the dirt for.”

“Tonight Audrey and I will become one being.”

Umm we’re pretty sure that means they will be having woohoo.  Of course we wanted to give them their privacy.

Who are we kidding there’s no privacy on this show.  We were right it looked like Audrey and Kocoum we’re taking their relationship to the next level.


“Thank goodness we were in the middle of no where because the amount of screaming we both were doing last night would have scared the neighbors.  It was all good screaming of course.”

“I let the beast out last night.  It will be hard to keep him at bay for the rest of this competition.”

After their wild night they were both pretty famished.  Kocoum started up the grill while Audrey washed up in the lake.  They only had a few more hours left on there date before they had to head back home.  They spent the morning eating, relaxing and of course making out.


“I honestly was worried when this date started, not just because of the camping but this is basically Kocoums lifestyle.  If I wasn’t able to handle it or enjoy myself we could never have a real future.  But I loved being able to share a part of Kocoum’s world.  It was nice to see I could fit into it.”

“Audrey survived the great outdoors she will fit into the tribe perfectly.”

The date was a success.  Yes Audrey fit into Kocoum’s world but did that mean she wanted it be hers.  If she choose Kocoum would she be willing to give up everything and join his tribe?  She’d have a lifetime of sleeping in the dirt.

Kocoum and Audrey returned home.  They were home for not even 5 minutes when Lefou grabbed Audrey and gave her a proper welcome home.  Kocoum was not pleased with the gesture.


“Lefou will regret that decision if I have anything to do with it.”

“I told you I wasn’t holding back this week.  I know this might ruffle some feathers, especially those in Kocoum’s headdress.”

Kocoum wasn’t going to let this disrespect go unnoticed.  He called out Lefou for being a savage and explained that this behavior would be a punishable by death back in his tribe.

“Too bad we aren’t in your tribe Koconuts!  Luckly in this tribe I have the protection of contracts and lawyers who will sue your ass if you so much as lay a finger on me.”

“I do not know what a contract is and who this Sue is.”

While Lefou and Kocoum were hashing it out Grumpy realize no one was occupying Audreys time.  He wanted to make sure to correct that.

 

“I’m more a lover then a fighter.  That’s why I was loving all over Audrey while those clowns were fighting it out.”

“Another day and I’m making out with all the guys within hours of each other.  Man I’m going to miss this part of the game when it’s done.”

Kocoum was still upset about Lefou kissing Audrey.  He tried to take his mind off it by going about his normal day.  But everything reminded him of Lefou’s lips attacking his Audreys.

“The joy of cooking has been tainted by that foul little creature.”

Lefou of course was on cloud nine and didn’t think twice about hurting Kocoum’s feelings.  He did wonder where Grumpy had run off to during his and Kocoum’s argument.

“I told Lefou I went to go make myself a drink which is the most believable thing.  Besides after making out with Audrey I did make myself a drink so techinically it’s true.”

“I’m really starting to worry about Grumpy and his drinking problem.  He should probably drop out of the comp and admit himself into a program.  Maybe you could force him to, I mean for Audreys safety of course.”

Yeah I’m sure it’s purely concern and nothing to do with elimininating the competition.

Audrey had been able to stay out of all the drama since getting back from her date.  As the day went on though see could feel the tension in the house rising. She didn’t want to be sucked into it so she kept her distance from Kocoum and Lefou for the rest of the day.  This left her available to spend a lot of time with Grumpy.  He even had a suggestion for keeping her calm.

“To say I was a little aprehensive about a massage from Grumpy after the whole hand disaster would be the understatement of the century.  But I have to admit he’s much better when it’s full body.  Especially the butt, he spent a lot of time there.  I told him that’s where all the knots were.”

“You bet I was going to suggest a massage how else would I be able to get a handful of that ass without looking like a creep.”

Things were still pretty tense between Kocoum and Lefou.  They tried to avoid each other.  But they ran into each when they both had the desire to do a little yoga. I guess they both thought that would be a good way to release the stress from the morning.

“Is it wrong that I’m enjoying torturing Kocoum this much?  I guess some of Gaston has rubbed off on me.”

“I can not wait to be rid of Lefou.”

Grumpy was still reaping the benefits of a house divided.

“Who would have thought Lefou kissing Audrey would turn out so well for me.”

“I’m getting so sick of this macho, caveman bullshit that has been going on all day.  At least I don’t have to worry about that with Grumpy.  Not that I’m saying he’s not a man, trust me he’s all man where it counts.”

It was a long day and the houseguests finally settled down for the night.  Everyone seemed to have gotten a good night’s sleep because it was all smiles around the table atbreakfast.

“Thankfully everyone woke up on the right side of the bed this morning.  Its our last week there’s no time for bickering.”

“I’m glad to see Kocoum was able to get over my little make out session.  It will soften the blow for when I do it again today.”

Well that will have to wait til later or possibly tomorrow because it’s time for Grumpys date.  For Grumpys date we found a sweet cottage in the middle of the rock quarry that he used to work at.  Yup before Grumpy and his buddies got into the world of coffee and croissants they were miners.  Grumpy always preferred that life over the coffee beans but he was outnumbered when the guys decided to give it up.  It’s pretty dangerous working in the mines alone.  I guess this explains where those abs came from.

Anyway we dropped off Audrey and Grumpy hoping neither one of them got lost in the mines.

“I’m glad we didn’t rush into the house when we first got there.  It was so nice just laying on the forest floor watching the clouds roll by.  Sometimes it’s the simple things that are the most enjoyable.”

“I didn’t do much cloud gazing.  How could I with Audrey laying right next to me.  Whenever she’s around I can’t take my eyes off her.”

It was starting to get overcast which didn’t help the whole cloud gazing thing so the two decided to check out the house.  It was much smaller then where they’ve been living for the past few weeks.  But it was the perfect size for just the two of them. Could this be a glimpse of what her future with Grumpy would look like?

“I can see myself and Grumpy growing old in a place like this.  Our grandkids would come visit for the weekend and we’d live out our days together, comfy and cozy.”

“I do miss this living.  City life is so rushed and crowded.  I would love for Audrey and I to share our life together in a place like this.”

They continued checking out the house and discovered a room they hoped to put to good use during their date.  Speaking of which there was no better time then the present.

“I just can’t keep my hands of this girl.  And I love every minute of it!”

“My night with Kocoum was raw and animalistic almost but with Grumpy it’s more sensual and sweet.  Hey a girl can like it both ways, why should she have be to choose?”

These two were like rabbits just going at it and at it and occasionally coming up for air.  One of those times they decided to get out off the house for some fresh air.  To be honest the house could use some airing out.  The stench of woohoo lingered.

Grumpy wanted to take Audrey to the mines that he had spent so much of his life at.  It was a really special place and meant a lot to him.  There’s was no one else on this planet he’d rather share it with.


“I basically became a man in those mines…I don’t mean it like that, it was just us guys in there.  Wait no I definitely don’t mean it like that.  What I mean is I learned how to work hard and push myself past my boundaries.  It meant a lot to be able to share this place with Audrey.  She gets to be a part of my history and hopefully she’ll be a big part of my future.”

“I was so touched that Grumpy took me to those mines.  I could tell that place was very special to him.  He really has been opening up to me more and more each week.”

It would be getting dark soon and though the mines were lovely during the day they were not somewhere you wanted to be in the dark.  They made there way back to the cottage.  They had noticed earlier that there was a sweet little porch towards the back of the house.  Once they returned they decided to take advantage of it.  Grumpy was happy to find the work bench out there.  He told Audrey he was going to make her something to remember this date.


“Audrey isn’t the only one who’s good with their hands.  I’ve whittled a few knife blocks in my day.”

Audrey didn’t want to just sit idly by while Grumpy worked so she got started on dinner.  Their timing was perfect, just as dinner was being put on the table Grumpy walked in with his creation.


“I loved the sculpture Grumpy made me.  But I don’t know what significance the horse has to this date.  It’s the thought that counts.”

“I like horses so I made Audrey a horse.”

 The two enjoyed a lovely meal with even better conversation.  Audrey’s tilapia tasted as good as Grumpys horse looked.  After quenching their appetites for food it was time to quench another appetite only this time they wanted to try out the closet.  They could always play in the bed later.


“I haven’t had this much fun in a closet since the 8th grade when I played seven minutes in heaven with Jessica Rabbit.”

“Nowadays closets aren’t just for clothes!”

Even though they had a marathon session in the closet Audrey and Grumpy still had energy and weren’t quite ready for bed yet.  They went for a stroll around the cottage.  The moonlight was enchanting and the scent of the lilacs was intoxicating.  However they weren’t the only ones who decided to go for a walk that night.


“A little tip for you don’t go up to a bear to try and impress your girl.  You see a bear you run the hell out of there.”

“What’s wrong with this guy!  Who walks up to a bear??”

The bear scare made them realize that maybe it was time for bed.  Oh yes they had decided, pretty much the minute they got here, that they would be spending the night.  Before they tucked themselves in Grumpy had another hidden talent for Audrey.  Apparently he’s a bit of a poet.  Since the moment he arrived at the house he had been working on something for Audrey.  He had hoped to read this to her on the finale night but he didn’t want to risk not getting the chance to tell Audrey how he really felt.

We met and I knew I’d never be the same.

My heart trembled every time you spoke my name.

I’ve never experienced feelings like this.

I long for the day when my lips get a kiss

For a chance just to hold you in my arms so tight

I’d wish on the first star each and every night

I know this is true, I know this is real

The only last question is how do you feel?


“WOW….just wow.”

Needless to say Audrey loved Grumpys poem.  She was going to make sure he knew just how much the best way she knew how.


“I guess that answers my question.”

The rest of the night was pretty much the same and so was the morning.  Neither of them had gotten much sleep but neither of them really cared.

Another date was done and the couple rejoined the rest of the house.  Kocoum was thrilled that Audrey and Grumpy were back.  It being just him and Lefou for the past 24 hours really tested his nerves.  Grumpy said he knew just what would help, no it wasn’t a massage those were reserved for Audrey.  He did however mix Kocoum a drink.  A very very strong drink.  This being Kocoums first experience with alcohol made for a very entertaining morning.


“Have I ever told you the story of my birth?  It was a cold rainy day in the middle of the winter.  The sun was trying to break free just like myself.  Only I was trying to break free from my mothers womb.  The whole tribe was there, Chief Powhatan, Pocahontas…I had the hugest crush on her, later not when I was baby duh, Nakoma, John Smith…oh wait he comes later…man that guy was a douche.  Wait where was I?  You know what I’ll just start again.  It was a cold….”

I guess we know how to make Kocoum talk just insert some alcohol.  We never thought we would have to say this to him during an interview but we told him we were running out of time and to wrap it up.

The day carried on.  The houseguests decided on a game of Llama Jenga to pass the time.  And that’s where it all started!


“All I wanted was a nice friendly game with my boys.  I would have never expected things to get so out of hand.”

“We’ve been playing this game for Audrey’s love all season and nothing, we play a silly game of Llama Jenga and all hell breaks loose.”

“I’ll never be able to play Llama Jenga again without thinking about today.”

Everyone was enjoying a competition that didn’t result in elimination.  When the tower finally fell it was Kocoum who was revealed as the winner.  We don’t know if he was still a little drunk or if he just wanted to celebrate with someone.  But after winning he pulled Audrey out of her chair and started kissing her.  The only problem with that was he did it right in front of Lefou and Grumpy.

“Yesterday I just scoffed at Kocoums reaction to seeing Audrey kissing Lefou.  Chalked it up to him being an overly jealous guy.  But now I completely think it was justified!  I think it’s because I just had this amazing date with her where we connected on so many levels that the thought of her being interested in kissing another guy was insane.  But in that moment I wanted to knock his ass back to his tribe.”


“I know I’m a hypocrite for getting mad at Kocoum and Audrey kissing in front of everyone, I mean I did it yesterday.  But being on the other end of it sucks.  Not only did I want to rip Kocoum a new one I wanted to give Audrey a piece of my mind.”

Unlike Lefou Grumpy didn’t hold back.  He told Audrey how hurt he was and was shocked that she would do that right in front of him, especially after the night they had shared.  He knew this was part of the game but at least have enough respect for everyone and do it in private.  After saying his peace to Audrey he walked away.  He knew if he confronted Kocoum he’d be doing a lot more then just talking to him.  He thought it best to remove himself from the situation.


“I felt awful.  Grumpy was absolutely right that should have happened in private.  But I was caught of guard.  Kocoum was the one who kissed me in front of the guys not the other way around.  I would never do that.  I know how much that would hurt them.  It was like yesterday when Lefou kissed me and I didn’t have a moment to even react.”

Everybody went their separate ways, to try and cool off.  However that wasn’t working for Grumpy.  He realized that he didn’t care what he did to Kocoum he needed to confront him.  The guy had blew up at Lefou and moped around all day yesterday because another guy did the exact same thing he just did.  Why would he think things would turn out differently with him?


“He needed to know how messed up what he did was.  He goes on and on about being this warrior this true man.  He’s the farthest thing from a real man.  And I told him just as much.”

“I may have been wrong but you do not question my manhood and think you’ll live to tell about it.”

Meanwhile Audrey was trying to smooth things over with Lefou.  She explained how she knew it was wrong what happened but she was just as caught off guards as he was.


“I feel bad for putting blame on Audrey she’s not to blame for Kocoum’s actions.  I’m not mad at her for what happened.”

“I was glad that Lefou really listened to me and seemed to accept my apology.  Now to see if Grumpy will feel the same.”

We’re guessing no.  Things were really starting to heat up between Grumpy and Kocoum.  Each felt wronged and like their honor was being questioned.  Of course they did what all men do when they feel like their man card is being revoked, they fought.


“Audrey and I were talking over in the gaming area when we heard this crash.  We look over and Grumpy and Kocoum are rolling around on the ground like a bunch of dogs.”


“That was the last straw I was fed up with these guys and their stupid man brains.  Yes it sucks seeing me kissing other guys but it’s the game you signed up for so suck it up and act like real men not five year olld boys.  Today is making me rethink if any of these guys are worth the time.”

The dust had settled but the fighting wasn’t over.  This time it was Audrey’s turn to get some things off her chest.  She chewed out both Grumpy and Kocoum and told them to grow up.  She reminded them it was still her decision at the end and she could easily choose no one.


“It’s so upsetting that this had to happen the last week of this game.  This has been such an amazing experience for me and these numbnuts are doing everything they can to ruin that.”

Audrey didn’t want to be around any of the guys at the moment.  She told them she was going down to the sauna and if any one of them so much as thinks about coming down there she’d throw their ass out on the curb.


“Thank god they all had enough sense to listen to me and not disturb me while a tried to relax and forget that all of this just happened.”

The guys gave Audrey space for the rest of the night.  The next morning Grumpy was up early.  He was hoping to catch Audrey before the other guys got up.  He felt awful about yesterday and needed to apologize to her.  His temper had gotten the best of him.  If Audrey couldn’t accept his apology he’d completely understand if she wanted him to go.  It would kill him to leave but if that’s what she wanted he’d do it.


“I feel like the hugest bum on the planet.  Audrey deserves a much better man then me…if you could even call me a man.  Knowing that I caused her any pain kills me to no end.  If she were happier if I was gone, I would pack my bags right then and there.”

“Of course I didn’t want Grumpy to leave.  I’m almost certain I’m in love with him.  I get losing your temper that’s easy.  The hard part is owning up to those mistakes you make while enraged.  That’s what it means to be a real man.”

Audrey quickly accepted his apology.  Since the other guys were still sleeping they took this opportunity to kiss and make up.  Of course they did it in private so as to not upset any of the guys in case they woke up.


“The best part of fighting is the making up.  Though I won’t be making up like this with Kocoum, I think I’ll just shake his hand or something.”

The rest of the house woke up and Kocoum found Audrey right away.  He also wanted to apologize for his actions, both the kiss and the fight with Grumpy.  And just like she did with Grumpy she forgave him.  Well since the other guys were up and about she didn’t forgive him exactly the same way.


“I’ve brought shame on Audrey and I will do everything I can to erase that stain on our relationship.”

“I really appreciate both Kocoum and Grumpy owning up to what they did and apologizing.  I know I played a big part in this too and I’m sorry.  I’m just glad everything is back to normal, well as normal as you can get in this house.”

Finally it was Lefou’s turn to talk to Audrey but since they had talked things out last night they discussed the weather and when they thought their date would be.


“Only one more date left and this is the one I’ve been wondering the most about.   For both Grumpy and Kocoum I knew going into it I was for sure having an overnight with them.  But with Lefou I wasn’t sure.  I know an overnight doesn’t have to mean woohoo but it’s certainly implied.”

“If I come back to this house and I’m still a virgin I’m locking myself in my room and never leaving it.”

Well it’s time to find out if we will be having a permanent resident because it’s time for the very last date of the season.  Picking out Lefou’s date destination was more difficult then the others.  Then it hit us Lefou would love whatever Gaston would love.  So that’s what we are giving him.  Audrey and Lefou will be spending their date in Gaston’s very own summer home.  Now we aren’t telling Lefou because we are afraid he’ll never leave.  Also one of the ways Gaston agreed to letting us use the house was if we promised not to tell Lefou who the owner is.  Apparently these best friends have some secrets from each other.  Gastons summer home is everything you would expect from him. It’s big, new, and has only the best the simverse has to offer.

Audrey and Lefou were amazed by the size of this place.  They decided to split up and see if they’d be able to find each other in the maze of a house.


“This house is insane.  It just never ends.  Everytime you think you’ve hit a dead end there’s a new door that leads you to another room.  Who could possibly need all this space.”


“The house isn’t really my style.  It’s a bit dated and boring.  I’m guessing the owner is a sad sad person who needs to overcompensate for everything they lack as a person.  If it’s a guy who owns it it’s clear where he’s lacking if you know what I mean.”

Lefou is going to regret saying that especially when Gaston watches this back.

Audrey and Lefou finally found each other in the oversized kitchen.  Both were pretty tired after exploring, and they had only explored the downstairs.  There was a whole upstairs for them to see.


“There was really only one room I was interested in seeing.  That was the bedroom.”

Lefou looked at Audrey and suggested they find the bedroom.  All of that walking around the house had tired him out.  But he added he wasn’t too tired for certain things.


“I was shocked when Lefou suggested we find the bedroom or more accurately the bed.  I guess he wanted this to be an overnight date after all.”

They found the bed.  It happened to be right in front of a roaring fire which set the mood perfectly for what was about to happen.  Our virgin of the season was about to get his cherry popped on national television.  Let’s hope you don’t get camera shy and peak too early.


“That was the best five minutes of my life!”

“Yes it was short but that doesn’t mean it was bad.  Lefou just needs some more practice, you know build up his stamina.  I’m definitely willing to practice with him until he gets it just right.”

Our little Lefou was finally a man.  His first act as a man was to make lunch for himself and Audrey.  During those five minutes he had worked up quite an appetite.  Audrey kept him company while he prepared lunch.  She couldn’t help but notice a little change in Lefou.  He was constantly smiling and humming and every chance he got he told Audrey just how beautiful she was.


“I couldn’t help but blush every time I looked at Lefou now.  I’ve never been someone’s first before and there was something endearing about that.  It’s like we were a bunch of giddy teenagers and I was loving it.”

“The world just seems brighter now and I swear these tomatoes tasted more juicy and divine then ever before.”

They finished up lunch and noticed that it was already getting dark.  While exploring earlier they noticed a lovely pool outside.  Of course they had to take advantage of it.  While Audrey was upstairs changing into her swim suit Lefou decided to surprise her by being naked when she got back.  She had seen the family jewels before and seemed to like them, why not give her another show.


“I came down to tell Lefou that I had forgotten to pack my bathing suit when I notice that so did he.  I stood there watching his cute little butt swim for a while.  He didn’t even notice I was there.  So I removed my clothes and snuck in the pool and joined him.  He’s not the only one who knows how to surprise someone.”


“I was just swimming along when all of the sudden I felt someone grab little Lefou.  Then I felt Audreys body press up against me.  Needless to say me and little Lefou were happy to see her.”

Little Lefou, that reminds us of another little guy from season one.  He was always happy to see the ladies too.

Audrey and Lefou swam, along with some other things, for a little while longer.  After they dried off they decided to take the party back to the bedroom and see if they could extend Lefou’s time.  They did….he lasted a whole seven minutes this time.  Oh well they could always get in more practice in the morning before they had to leave.  They called it a night and drifted off to sleep.  Around 3am we noticed Lefou get out of bed.  We figured he was getting a midnight snack but instead he made his way into one of the studies.


“I had to let Gaston know the big news.  I remembered seeing a computer when we were touring the house, I’m sure the owner wouldn’t mind me using it for a little while.  Man whoever lives here should learn how to clear their search history, they like to look at a lot of porn.  I may have clicked on a few of those links to get some pointers for tomorrow.”

Lefou did a little more research then returned back to bed without Audrey realizing he had ever left.  The next morning Lefou once again took charge in the kitchen.  Audrey was really starting to enjoy these little moments with Lefou.


“I was sitting in the kitchen watching Lefou make me breakfast and I had a glimpse of what our life could be like.  Him making breakfast while I sip on my coffee and tell him about my ridiculous dream I had the night before.  I admit I’m really loving this picture I’m painting in my head.”

 Lefou was halfway done scrambling his eggs when he looked up and noticed Audrey starting at him.  He stared back and instantly they both knew they weren’t in the mood for breakfast anymore.


“I don’t know what happened but that was a completely different Lefou I was woohooing this morning.  It’s liked he learned years worth of things in one night.  The things he was doing to me were things I’d never done before but I definitely want to do again”

“Remind me to send the owner of this house a thank you note and maybe some flowers. I guess it was a good thing he didn’t erase his search history”

There date wrapped up after that and they returned to the house.  The guys had a elimination competition coming up.  Unfortunately we won’t be seeing that tonight.  We are saving that for next week along with finally finding out who Audrey picks.  But that’s not all we have in store for the finale, as has been throughout the season we have a few surprises in store.  Also next week is definitely the finale, some of you may be saying oh no does that mean we won’t be having a men tell all like last year?  Well don’t you worry we will once again be having a little reunion/a tell all episode where all the guys will come back and tell there side of the story and get the chance to confront Audrey.  However this season we decided to have that special episode after the finale.  One more thing you guys have to look forward to is a teaser image of our next season.  That will be posted sometime before the finale on the message boards.  So you guys have a lot of great stuff coming your way, it’s a good time to be a bachelorette fan!  We will see you all next week!

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12 thoughts on “The Bachelorette: Disney Sidekick Edition Ep.7 -Closets Aren’t Just For Clothes

  1. Omg from drunken Kokum to dunking Lefou this episode had it all!! I loved every second of it – and can I say I believe I loved Grumpy most of all – even though Lefou is growing on me 🙂 I was disappointing in Kokum in some sort of way 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am totally torn… So I’m creating a new team #TeamICan’tDecide And slightly disturbed about Lefu… That was Gaston’s house right? And are we getting and Ariel and Gaston side story? Ooo… So excited!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Actually, I hadn’t thought about it like! I am totally #TeamICan’tDecide! And yes, Lefou and his porn so he could learn stuff. That’s a little bit weird! And yes, I thought so! I can’t wait to see this little side story! 🙂

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  3. Wow, so much drama! It’s going to be a hard decision, that’s for sure. She seems to be in love with all of them. I personally think she should choose Grumpy – he’s sweet and cute and I think he surprised everyone with his charm. Also, Lefou is kinda slimy and Kocoum is mine, so… 😀

    And I agree with Spotty about Lefou and porn – no one ever learn how to please a woman by watching that kind of stuff 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t know who I want to win! The dates all went so well (and the guys apologised for fighting). I love Kocoum, but I don’t know if she’d be happy outdoors all the time (he’s hilarious drunk though). Grumpy is just adorable (unless drunk). And Lefou… he confuses me =p

    Liked by 1 person

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