The first thing I like woman and they seem to like me.
This is my current boo, Dina Blanc.
She’s hot right, like rockstar roadie tramp hot!
Oh yeah she’s pregnant. She says it’s mine but we’re still waiting on the tests.
For a guy like me one girl isn’t enough. So I got me a side dish.
This is Tinkerbelle. She’s all kinds gorgeous.
Funny thing she’s pregnant too. What can I say my boys are good swimmers.
Second thing you need to know I like to drink.
See that fool with the green hair. That’s my ex Dorothy’s son, and no he’s not mine Dorothy prefers the ladies. No he’s adopted. I dodged a bullet there.
That sexy little thing to my right is my ex Sydney Blanc. That last name look familar, that’s because she’s DIna’s sister. She was all kinds of crazy and I had to cut her loose.
She still wants me though.
I’m a stand up guy so I did her a solid and gave her a last bite of the Ramiro charm.
Hey, girl where’d your hand go?
Damn look at those legs. They call me Sherwood forest because I’m walking around on these tree trunks.
You see that firecracker with the short black hair, that’s Simone. She’s Dina and Syd’s sister.
I never went for her, sometimes firecrackers turn out to be duds.
That sweet little bird is Bella Blanc…don’t even ask you know the answer already. She’s madly in love with me and is always staring. Who can blame her.
“This is your lucky day Bella, I’m offering you a free ticket to ride this train again.”
She was always a weird one laughing at things that ain’t funny.
What people are surprised to know about me is that I have a job. I’m a nurse.
I’m not always on time, but that’s nothing a little flirting can’t fix.
Working at a hospital is the best place to meet woman. This punk rock princess is actually Sydney’s daughter. She got together with that chump Ezra after I threw her back in the pond.
It seems her mama warned her about my tricks. No sweat she’s a baby anyway, I like a few more miles on my woman. Besides the view from the back is so much nicer.
Now I said I have a job that doesn’t mean I work.
Our better yet I have my own way of working.
“Are this the hands you use to cut people up. They are so soft, makes me wonder what the other parts of you feel like.”
You see woman are all the same. All you got to do is feed them a few lines and throw in a kiss and you got them eating out your hands.
“Wow your lips were just as soft. Now how about you run those samples for me?”
I see a promotion in my future.
Last thing you need to know is I’m in a band. It’s just me and this chick. We usually do the club scene but we’re this close to getting a record deal.
We occasionally get crackpots like her telling my bandmate to drop me. That I’m awful and holding her back. Go back to listening Rod Stewart grandma!
At our last gig though it really hit a nerve and let’s call her Jill (why would I bother learning her name) stormed off after our set.
I’m so sending grandma my dry cleaning bill, making me run after this chick.
Calming girls down is a specialty of mine. It’s all about lip placement.
Jill calmed down and I suggested a little private gig at her place.
Sorry folks this a private show.
Nah who am I kidding. Of course you can watch. I wouldn’t want to deny you having your mind blown.
You learn really early on how to get out of there as quietly as possible.
Not before refueling the tank though. Only thing this girl had in the fridge was cereal. Looks like this was a one time show.
No worries though. Girls always be lining up for me.
But they like to play shy and run away. Good thing I love the chase.
So that’s me in a nutshell. Don’t hate the player hate the game.